somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
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Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
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I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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