Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
