a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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