i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
