Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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