dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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