never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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