whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Ketchup is God's man juice
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
