Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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