ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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