Moan for me like Helen Keller
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
