She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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