She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I need water and some morals
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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