Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
