I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
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