There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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