ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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