I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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