I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
