So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
