You just made me feel so damn special
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
