Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
did you just send me my own nude
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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