why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
