The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
