i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
