Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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