Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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