the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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