i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
