81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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