we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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