My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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