3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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