ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
