my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
