Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
no, he came in my armpit
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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