my sisters under your porch take her home
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
