My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
