i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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