u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
