oh god the rape fog is back!
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
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The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
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You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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