The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
YAS. BRING CRAB.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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