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• (207): View more from Maine

  I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.

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• (239): View more from Florida

  We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk

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• (916): View more from California

  BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.

  (416): View more from Toronto

  This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.

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• (239): View more from Florida

  These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.

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• (305): View more from Florida

  Are we allowed to ho on the roof?

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