Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
