The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
