So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize