Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
