this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize