I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize