I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
