Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Bring me that man meat
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
