I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
