dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize