just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
