Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
