I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
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