hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
