If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize