or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I have post one night stand depression
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