Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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