We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
