went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
