i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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