Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
