I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
ttyl tear gas
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
